Comments on: Be Like That- be like what?

By: RC

RC — Sat, 02 May 2009 17:32:26 +0000

I never really got beyond the very first line which I kept replaying: “He spent his whole being too young, to live the life that’s in his dreams.” Did he spend his whole life stuck in a moment, living the past at the expense of his future?

This week, I learned that a fellow volunteer at my DV shelter committed suicide. While I did not know her personally, just as I was trying to understand how this could happen to someone who worked so selflessly,I was struck with events closer to home; alcohol claimed two important lives – - a college classmate and good friend died and my younger brother went to jail, again, and probably for the last time. In their many, many years of real torture, real struggling, I did what I thought I could to understand and be helpful. But now I realize how short I fell because all too often I wondered, Why cant they just grow up? Why cant they quit? Why do they seem stuck in time, so immature, so unwilling to stop the party and find their purpose? Why do they perpetuate being “too young” at the real expense of a having a life that fulfills “their dreams.” I wonder if the friends and parents of the DV volunteer had similar moments: did they wonder at times, “why cant she just get past the depression and get on with life?”

As I reflect on many years and conversations, I know that both my friend and my brother struggled with faith, were not close to God, did not feel that through good times and bad, Christ’s love was an ever present compass, trying to help them navigate. Both were given the remarkable gift of complex, truly brilliant intellects, but it seemed God’s strength, His mercy and grace, the simple gift of his deep love eluded them.

So now I wonder why? And I need to ask whether its because I was not a strong or effective enough advocate of that love; maybe its because instead of wondering why they werent doing their part to grow up, I should have been more focused on being patient, and kind, being more loving, being a better messenger for God. I am not suggesting that I could have changed their course, that if I had been a little more responsible I could have rescued either my friend or my brother from their paths of self destruction. But I know the measure of success for God was in my trying, not the end result; and that I should have tried harder.

And as I read the blog, and write this, I realize that even in a difficult week, God has just given me another gift: he knows I aint perfect, but He is expecting me to keep trying. And, what if starting now, I really learn that lesson, really embed it in my thoughts, prayer and actions? Who would I see differently? How would I act differently?

I read something recently about the Old Testament that it really is a record of how hard God tries to get our attention: he moved mountains, there were earthquakes, water from rocks, all kinds of miracles that were amazing and wondrous. And yet we still forgot to love Him and love one another. So what did God do? He somehow figured out that these huge cosmic fireworks werent getting the job done so He sent someone to earth who was just like us. (Arent we egotistical in that it takes one to know One?) And, then he not only looked like us, but God allowed Jesus to suffer just like us, just to teach us to love in spite of the challenges, to have faith through the difficulties, to keep trying and to know that through it all, He loves us with purpose.

So maybe that person who seems immature, who isnt fulfilling other people’s expectations, who seems to most people to be a screw-up, maybe, just maybe, we should think about that person differently? Maybe he was sent to be part of my life so I could learn to receive Gods message and be a better person. Maybe in falling short of his dream, my brother was actually a better teacher of Gods message than I ever could hope to be: that he was put right in front of me to challenge me to love with more kindness and patience, to be forgiving one more time, even when I really dont understand.

Crystal and James are right to challenge the premise that we all think that the one thing we dont have will make life better; that we want to be rock stars without the hours of practice, often forgetting how hollow that life may be. I think I am looking at the same picture but from a slightly different vantage point: that even with crash and burn victims, even in people who seem to be failing, who arent living up to their own, their family or community expectations, maybe they are the real messengers. That, in the end, we are all less than perfect but are given small and big opportunities every day to be kind, not judge, to accept that God loves and keeps trying to teach us, and so sends us the most unusual messengers.

Maybe, the peace of Gods understanding is having the faith to search, keep trying, to work on loving and living the message, rather than finding fault with the messenger. If we walk in faith, even an inmate can teach us something.

I want to be like that.

By: James

James — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:36:36 +0000

I am always struck by how more eyes (and by extension “brains”) on a project or a text broaden perspective! In part what I hear you all saying in common is that we tend to hope for the end-product life of someone else. We already know how much work is involved in getting our own lives in order and don’t take into account that there is just as much work (maybe more or at least different work) to get into someone else’s shoes. Perhaps Harry has tapped something when he talks about escaping current reality for another one. Especially when our lives overwhelm us, we want someone else’s “amazing” life.

What I was beginning to see in the scripture was what we are, who we are, and the issue of identity. I am not the vine; I am a branch on the vine, part of something else, something bigger, and grafted onto the one who is greater than I. As a branch I draw my life and identity from being part of the larger whole (without being sucked into being merely a cog in the collective). And I am struck also that part of my identity is not as servant to Jesus (though I am that too) but as a friend to Jesus as well.

I’ve always loved The Giving Tree and it’s image, a Jesus-y image to me. It is clear from all of the responses so far that it is work to live faithfully, it is a gift to be part of the bigger deal. Clearly, more thinking is in order on my part…

By: Gale

Gale — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 04:24:39 +0000

Verses 5-8 remind me of Maurice Sendak’s GIVING TREE, a book about how a tree sacrificed himself for the boy that he loved throughout the boy’s lifetime, reducing himself from flourishing tree to a stump. The tree gave his life for his boy.

Verse 16 begs the question, “Where’s my fruit? Am I positioning myself in a way to be a good example, so those who see me might say they want to ‘be like that,’ too?” No illusions about the work behind getting to be who we are, though. It takes, as Harry said, a lot of hidden background work to get to the admirable glamour part of any life/job.

By: harry holloway

harry holloway — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 01:25:39 +0000

When people say that want to be in someone else’s shoes, it does not mean they want to be someone else. Many people talked about wanting to be Micheal Jordan, But that did not mean they wanted to practice 4 hours a day, or go to the Dean Smith school of self discipline. “Be like that” is not really a “be like what?” question, but a desire to get out of our own shoes for a while. Escapism. It is not about a school boy’s dreams of a future. It is an adult’s wish to be somewhere else; A minister who on some evening doesn’t want to take a call; he would rather be somewhere else, or be someone else. Maybe even the caller. In the biblical passage you picked, Christ is using Analogies to convey an image of the Love of God. I see the song as the musings of someone who doesn’t want to think about stuff tonight. We do not see God’s love an enough, someone else’s life is easier…. But is is not. They could just as easily want to be like you one day. But God’s love is enough. He calls us “friend” and reminds that as one of God’s family we are loved, and we can be “like that” Tonight we take the call, but later we can be the caller. Another’s shoes only look comfortable on his feet, or in his closet. We did not break them in, and they are not for our feet. But God’s love we have broken in, and is a greater comfort than we know.. maybe a little ramblely, but there may be something in here you can use. God Bless h

By: Crystal

Crystal — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 21:28:07 +0000

James,
Okay….so are you writing this sermon series just for me? Last week’s message was very powerful! I watched the music video and read the lyrics to this song and I am reminded how unless we treat each other as God loves us (which I am not sure we can ever achieve because I don’t know if we can fathom the kind of love God has for his people) defined in John 15: 12-17 “12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because servants do not know their master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other” we will never be a satisfied people.
I find it interesting that the video made reference in image to American Pie, the movie. In that movie, there is a group a guys who are trying to find themselves and all of them seemingly want something that they cannot have. They all want some kind of acceptance, love or experience that they have not have. Does that not define most of us today? We see, feel and experience our pain, hurt , troubles, wants etc… We don’t see other people as having their own set of issues. I see someone out and think…if I had their job, wouldn’t my life be great. If my body looked like theirs wouldn’t I then be something special. We are always trying to grasp what society says we need. We want what we can’t have- if we have straight hair we want curly, if we have curly we want straight, if we have brown eyes we want blue if we have an old TV we want a flat screen, if we are heavy we want to lose weight, if we have this car we want that car. But we always think…If I could be like that…I would give anything…just to live one day in those shoes. If we were given one day we would want two days!! If we got what we always wanted…there would be something else. Because we don’t live for each other the way Jesus lived for us. We don’t love each other the way God wants us to. Just like the passage says, however, we did not choose each other. But we were put here together at the same time with the commandment to “love one another”…and not the love we think we know, but the love God has for all of us. God wants us to love ourselves the way he made us. If he wanted us to all be like each other, he would have made us all exactly the same.
Just another thought… I experienced something interesting as a teacher, kids almost always wanted to be someone famous —(and once awhile a doctor or veterinarian would be of choice)—(at least in 2nd grade) an athlete, musician, dancer etc. But then you look at the news reported on so many famous people and read about drug and alcohol abuse, infidelity, marriage and divorce like it is going out of style, theft and bankruptcy, bizarre diets and surgeries grasping for the fountain of youth. People who have their lives out in the open being ridiculed by the trash magazine and paparazzi. Is it a coincidence that these people have addictions, diets…etc?? No, they are trying to be this image of perfection for the rest of us to worship and image ourselves after. We choose to image ourselves after someone on TV as opposed Jesus? Who made that choice and why do we make this an okay decision on a daily basis? Now not all famous people fit the profile but too many to feel comfortable that the young minds sitting before me all wanted to be someone famous; and the chance that any of them would make it big is slim, let’s face it…just not going to happen. But then when push comes to shove all they really want right now is love and time spent with their family and friends. And then parents…many of the parents I came into contact with were trying to keep up with the Jones’s. Working ridiculous hours to make ends meet, with daycares and nannies and school personnel raising their children while they are trying to get that next Xbox upgrade or toy or designer clothes…not knowing that their child wants nothing more than a moment of their time. A chance to feel like a priority to the person who means more to them than anyone else on the planet. We don’t have to be someone everyone else knows. God has offered us love and acceptance and we our his priority. If I could be like that…and make everyone I meet a priority, I would give anything….