Saint James Blog

Sunday  September 30, 2007

I will be the first to admit I am guilty of wanting, dare I say sometimes demand proof from God. Not only his existence, but why he won’t show himself in more provable ways. In today’s message, James made a good point, but is probably the hardest thing for most people to do. Don’t argue, just walk away. Most of us are predisposed to argue. Heck some people get paid to do something most of us gladly do for free. Argue. I admit that we don’t try to show Jesus in our lives except when it is convenient for us, or when we feel the need to argue why OUR Jesus is superior. I can not prove to anyone that Jesus is real, I just know. Even with my jaded opinion of this wonderful world of ours, I believe.  I have seen a lot of wonderful things happen here at St. James. I have never seen a group of people that really mean it when they say “We accept all.” But you know what, St.James is the real deal. I have had more positive experiences here that has helped my life, my spiritual life compared to before St.James, well it has virtually exploded. As some of you can imagine my life was a pretty wild one to say the least.  I could have cared less what anyone thought much less Jesus. I became so jaded, I gave up on this whole God and Jesus mess. I am here to tell you that there is a GOD and he is truly powerful. HE took this broken spirit, life and gave it new breath. And you know what, most everything I was first told about Jesus is a bunch of hooey. I was always told to clean up your life and soul before you come to God. What I have found is the exact opposite. You are not strong enough to clean you life and soul up. Only God has the power to REALLY clean it up. And he moved with such subtlety, that before I knew it everything that I thought was OK, I no longer wanted to do. I am still amazed at the way he moved and shook my life up. The best part was being able to see the changes in myself and my outlook on life. Jesus is an amazing person. Just give him a chance, he just might surprise you. If you look closely enough, I promise you will see you proof. It will in all likelihood not be a burning bush. However, you won’t be disappointed. Give him a chance, you got everything to lose, and even more to gain.

For most people, childhood brings up memories of playing and sleeping in, friends and being carefree. Enter adulthood–enter many choices and responsibility. Lately I have been reminded that I am no longer a kid, but I am till trying to live the best of both worlds…I hope I never lose sight of the need for this delicate balance.

In some ways a lot of the responsibility is frightening, in other ways I feel like everything in life has prepared me for this point. I know it doesn’t stop here though and everything I am going through now will prepare me for the next thing. It’s amazing to see how it all comes together with a purpose.

I have to imagine that no matter how old you are, life and the decisions in it can seem pretty overwhelming sometimes. We can thank God that we are not alone in those times and that we have Him and our family and/or friends to guide us. I hope we never feel too grown up to enjoy the simple pleasures, or to look to another for guidance and support in the heavy stuff.

If anyone had said in my school years that part of what I’d do as a pastor would be to fix the code on the blog index page so it would continue to count visitors for statistical purposes, I would have laughed or just asked, “What the heck is a blog?” Yet Monday after choosing what I hope will be our last theme (for awhile anyway) for the blog page, I discovered no one was coming to the page anymore. Now I am not a person who really is about statistics but sometimes it helps to know if what you’re doing is having any kind of impact so counting can be a way of tracking that. If no one seems to be interested and if it hits no one’s life, should it really stay near the top of the priority list of things to do? As it turns out, the really cool theme I chose (truthfully, Erika and I chose) needed just a tiny bit of tweaking that hopefully didn’t break something else but that is a story for another time.

Maybe that is true of anything. Are there things we should keep doing if they have little impact? Like walking in the park or looking at flowers or catching an episode of Prison Break? Well those things we ought to keep doing just to appreciate the totally cool world we live in and find peace. When it comes down the things we’re wired to do, that we are called to do, perhaps we do need to be discerning that we are spending time in the best possible ways- all this from changing a few lines of code… go figure.

There is the literal and the figurative meaning to this title, the doors of the church and the doors of our heart.   On Sunday night we had a meeting at Saint James Alexandria where the plant team gathered to discuss some of the details and get to know each other more.  Towards the end of the meeting I noticed a man in the lobby.  It surprised me and I thought maybe he was having car trouble.  Why else would a man be here at 8:00 at night?

He spoke softly and I quickly realized English was his second language.  Having had recent ear surgery and still not having my full hearing, all the while not wanting to interrupt the meeting in the sanctuary, I immediately felt I was the wrong person for this conversation.  At first I understood him to be asking questions about the church and I explained our service times and our open and welcoming style as simply and clearly as possible. He asked if I had information, so I gave him a card and weekly update.  Feeling somewhat unsure of his intentions, I told him he was welcome any Sunday and when he asked if he could stay and read I said sure, showed him a seat, and headed back to the meeting.  I had no clue.

After the meeting, I noticed  that he was still there and I went back to him to see if he had any more questions.  Although I enjoy after meeting conversations with people, I knew this was the only conversation that mattered.  Then he asked me if he could stay at the church that night.  Wow.

I had looked at him and saw a man who was clean cut and gentle-mannered.  I had seen a buttoned up shirt and a coat, but I had not noticed that his pants told a different story.  I sat down and shut the world out to focus on this one man whose eyes were holding back tears as he shared his story as best he could and we tried to find a place for him to stay that night.  He came back again Monday morning and I pray our plan to help him get back on his feet works.  I say our plan because I simply gave him some options and resources I knew about and let him decide which he wanted more details and directions on.  I pray he takes advantage of places that can really work with him and that he comes back again if they aren’t meeting his needs.

He wouldn’t accept food, transportation, or money, from people or the church.  He had a job for years and lost it.  I didn’t ask why.  That’s not my business.  I wanted to take him home with me, but that wouldn’t be a lasting solution.  This man simply needed someone to guide him in the right steps to take to get help.  Was I the right person for the job?  I am trying hard not to answer that question by worldy standards, but by God’s.  There is a reason he came into our doors and I looked back there.  I had just finished my presentation and was engaged in the discussion led by James, there would have been no reason for me to look back there and notice a man back there.

I have seen this man three times in two days.  I have said hello to him at least three times without knowing what to expect.  I have said goodbye to him more than three times without knowing what to expect.  That is where trust comes in and I know that He is in Gods hands and I know that this man will get back on his own two feet.  I am honored to have shaken his hand and received his blessings as I pray I have extended God’s blessing to him.

At the same time, I am humbled and amazed at God’s mysterious ways.  What an odd time for a man to appear at our door.  Not only was it late, but it was a very long weekend with extra events at both churches I serve at in two different cities.  It was a good weekend, but I was tired and under many deadlines for the second site.  Monday was already a full day without “interruptions.”  The thing is, I didn’t see him as one.  That is what it is all about and God reminded me of that and renewed my heart because of that one man.  I hope I see him again, whether it is in church or not.  It’s not about gaining another member for our church (though that is always something wonderful), but about being a vessel for God to use and opening our hearts to be more like His so that they might see Him and know Him.

I don’t know when I will have the next opportunity to be present with someone like that.  I hope it is often as that is where my heart is, that is why I entered ministry and want a Social Work background.  In any case, I hope that it is a reminder to all of us to keep our eyes and hearts open.

You know,  Jennnifer and I have been blessed for a couple of years(not sure how many, sorry James I’ve been hit in the head too many times) with our HOME here at St. James. That’s what we’ve found here, is a home, especially myself. My life has had it’s moments, and I really had given up on God and this whole church thing.  My lovely wife kept after me to get up off my rear and go help her in her search for a church. We found St. James and it has been a real blessing. I don’t even know what the messages will be about, as computers and myself really don’t get along. What I have found, is that it doesn’t matter if I know what he will be speaking on. God really does get his message out there through James. Time and time again James has given the message, and I walked away felling as though I was the only one in the room he was talking to.  As I sit here today(Sept 23 morn. service) I still find it so crazy that I not only play “CHURCH”  music,  but I truly know what a community of Family is now.  The message today is on spontaneous looking for Jesus, the funny thing about St. James is you can’t find a more spontaneously place. James goes into a message and you never know where it will go. My thought on trying to find Jesus spontaneously is that you can’t. Jesus works on you in a most subtle way. he does have a good point that we have programed our lives, and we need to mix it up more. The question is what resources do we or can we bring to the table. Not Just the dollar bills, but love, organization, sandwich making…… time, money, love they are all part of the resources that we can give to this community. The disciples went out very spontaneously with Jesus and still did not understand that God is the greatest resource that we can pull from. He feeds the many, loves all, accepts all as well. Stop, look around and see what YOU can bring to the table. Maybe it just a prayer, and that’s ok. to put the message simply, go out look around and see where you can give back a liitle to make even the smallest difference.  I truly believe there  is no difference in giving some money so someone can eat, and just offering a kind word to help make someone feel better about themselves or even just their day. It’s all LOVE, and it’s all good, that is the difference that we can all make…. have a great week!

This morning I went to a district clergy meeting (where about 40-50 pastor types gather on a monthly basis for a program and connecting time). The speaker talked about passion and the most important thing he said was about passion, about doing the things God has wired us and given us a passion for first. Those kinds of activities give us back energy and don’t take it away. Anything else is a waste of the gifts God has given us. He spoke of them as first things and second things. The first things are the ones on which we need to spend our time. the second things are not unimportant but we need to find others for whom those second things (for us) are first things (for them) so that we can cooperate and accomplish all the tasks in a way that glorifies God.